Category Archives: Miscellany

The Ten Commandments in Textspeake

A friend sent me this. Brilliant!

1. no1 b4 me. srsly.

2. dnt wrshp pix/idols

3. no omg’s

4. no wrk on w/end (sat 4 now; sun l8r)

5. pos ok – ur m&d r cool

6. dnt kill ppl

7. :-X only w/ m8

8. dnt steal

9. dnt lie re: bf

10. dnt ogle ur bf’s m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob.

M, pls rite on tabs & giv 2 ppl.

ttyl, JHWH.

ps. wwjd?

Juvenile Wit

A friend sent me these. Priceless….

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TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America ..
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘I.’
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie….. Always say, ‘I am.’
MILLIE: All right….. ‘I’ am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It’s the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
__________________________________

Stuck in a carpark (or why I hate monopolies)

First, thanks to everyone for the good wishes and I’m pleased to say the quarantine is over and we once again have free access to God’s great wide world.

So it’s ironic that soon after the quarantine was lifted, I found myself stuck once again. [WARNING: this post has nothing to do with parenting, and everything to do with Pilgrim Mom the irritated customer. Please skip if you have better things to do with your time….]

I had gone to Bukit Merah Central to run some errands and parked at the multi-storey carpark, a Cashcard-only facility. After my errands I was about to leave when I realised I had left my Cashcard at home (we had sent our vehicle for servicing and had taken it out of the IU).

Continue reading

30 books of the Bible – but can you find them?

A friend sent me this wonderful puzzle. Easy peasy, I thought. But minutes later I had to get myself a Bible, and after that resort to my wordprocessor’s “find” function to help me with the rest of it. The poor kids were wondering why Mum was taking so long just to check her email. Sigh

See how far you get. And if you are ready to tear your hair out, send me an email and I’ll give you the solution. ๐Ÿ™‚

There are 30 books of the Bible in the following paragraph. Can you find them?

This is a most remarkable puzzle. It was found by a gentleman in an airplane seat pocket, on a flight from Los Angeles to Honolulu, keeping him occupied for hours. He enjoyed it so much he passed it on to some friends. One friend from Illinois worked on this while fishing from his john boat. Another friend studied it while playing his banjo. Elaine Taylor, a columnist friend, was so intrigued by it she mentioned it in her weekly newspaper column. Another friend judges the job of solving this puzzle so involving, she brews a cup of tea to help her nerves. There will be some names that are really easy to spot. Thatโ€™s a fact. Some people, however, will soon find themselves in a jam, especially since the book names are not necessarily capitalised. Truthfully, from answers we get, we are forced to admit it usually takes a minister or scholar to see some of them at the worst. Research has shown that something in our genes is responsible for the difficulty we have in seeing the books in this paragraph. During a recent fund raising event, which featured this puzzle, the Alpha Delta Phi lemonade booth set a new sales record. The local paper, the Chronicle, surveyed over 200 patrons who reported that this puzzle was one of the most difficult they had ever seen. As Daniel Humana humbly puts it, โ€œthe books are all right here in plain view hidden from sight.โ€ Those able to find all of them will hear great lamentations from those who have to be shown. One revelation that may help is that books like Timothy and Samuel may occur without their numbers. Also, keep in mind, that punctuation and spaces in the middle are normal. A chipper attitude will help you compete really well against those who claim to know the answers. Remember, there is no need for a mad exodus, there really are 30 books of the Bible lurking somewhere in this paragraph waiting to be found.

Risen

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“When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” – Sherlock Holmes, The Adventure of the Blanched Soldier

That’s what the Pilgrim family is celebrating today. Happy Easter!

Tagged: 5 Things About Myself

Brenda over at Little Gastronomy has just tagged me to reveal 5 things about myself that most of you probably wouldn’t know. Brenda, by the way, looks to be an absolute gourmet and if I were less of a kitchen dunce, I would give some of her brilliant suggestions a go.

Anyway, her tag is a little challenging because the regular readers of this blog include people who have known me all my life. But let me give it a go anyway:

  1. My favourite television series of all time (ALL TIME!) is The West Wing. I am a huge fan of Aaron Sorkin in particular. The Star Trek series comes in a distant second – and only Voyager and The Next Generation.
  2. My favourite book/movie of all time (ALL TIME!) is the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I am geeky enough to have read The Silmarillion and contemplated learning Elvish. Until I concluded that there are probably more useful things I could do with my time ๐Ÿ™‚
  3. My favourite music has strong melody and lyrics. I am a fan of the earlier albums of The Indigo Girls, in particular the songs written by Emily Saliers. I am also a fan of jazz and acapella.
  4. I multi-task too much for my own good. I am usually reading at least three books at a time, running several projects at once, and at this very moment have 7 applications running on my laptop….
  5. I am also a hypocrite: I forbid the children to drink Coke, and they are allowed one piece of candy a day. I regularly break both rules myself. Just another piece of evidence pointing to my soul-need for salvation!

I’m tagging

Happy New Year!

And may your home be filled with colour, life and love.

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