Monthly Archives: December 2008

Pilgrim Dad teaches Anatomy 101

Pilgrim Dad gave Aramis his pre-bedtime shower tonight. Some minutes later, a stark-naked Aramis toddled out of the bathroom towards me. Pointing towards his intimate parts, he exclaimed, “Mummy, I have two spectacles!”

Pilgrim Dad chuckled in the background, Athos and Porthos chuckled along, and I resigned myself to life with Da Boyz.

Manners according to Aramis

We’ve been trying to teach Aramis to say “please may I have” instead of “I want”. Here is a little anecdote from today that demonstrates how he’s doing so far:

Aramis: What’s in your cup, Mommy?

Pilgrim Mom shows him.

Aramis: Is it Ribena?

PM: Yes.

Aramis grabs cup to drink.

PM: Hey, that’s mine!

Aramis: No, mine!

PM: How do you ask me nicely?

Aramis: (in gentle dulcet tone) It’s mine.

Juvenile Wit

A friend sent me these. Priceless….

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America ..
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘I.’
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie….. Always say, ‘I am.’
MILLIE: All right….. ‘I’ am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It’s the same dog.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher