MOE has just announced that it will suspend AWARE’s sex education programme.
The statement says that “Today, schools are allowed to engage external vendors to supplement MOE’s sexuality education programme. MOE has reviewed the internal processes for selecting and monitoring vendors and found that they can be improved. MOE will put in more stringent processes to ensure that training materials and programmes delivered in schools are in line with the Ministry’s framework on sexuality education. Schools will suspend the engagement of external vendors until the new vetting processes are completed. The Ministry is also reviewing ways to provide parents with more information about sexuality education in the specific schools that their children are in.”
About AWARE’s sexuality education, MOE said that “in some other aspects, the Guide does not conform to MOE’s guidelines. In particular, some suggested responses in the instructor guide are explicit and inappropriate, and convey messages which could promote homosexuality or suggest approval of pre-marital sex.”
The whole saga at AWARE has left me troubled. I didn’t like how the new guard came into power and their inability to articulate a coherent position and direction from the get-go. But I was also upset by the subsequent savagery online and offline that demonised Christians. (more…)
We’ve been trying to teach Aramis to say “please may I have” instead of “I want”. Here is a little anecdote from today that demonstrates how he’s doing so far:
Pilgrim Dad and I were latecomers to the school of spanking. We were both squeamish, hadn’t sat down to establish what the rules of engagement were, and were not particularly consistent.
Then one day, I heard a pastor expound on Proverbs 22:15; and 23:13-14. The same day, we had dinner with family friends, comprising mostly couples who were a generation older, and their grown-up children. I asked the elders if they had spanked their children, and they all looked at me as if that was an exceedingly naive question.
“Of course!” exclaimed one. The cane seemed to be the preferred implement. One person shared that for severe infringements the wrongdoer had the privilege of fetching the cane. Someone else said that there was one period where the children figured out how to hide the cane and she had to keep buying new ones.
I couldn’t help but wonder. Within this (statistically-not-very-representative) council of elders, there was a 100% incidence of caning. All their kids are now in their 20s and 30s, and as far as I can tell have good relationships with their parents, and seemed none the worse for wear. Of course, I don’t know what might have happened if their parents hadn’t caned them. Still, this group’s example, and the biblical admonition, seemed too sensible to ignore. (And this is Singapore after all, well-known in the international community for its position on corporal punishment as embodied in the famous case of Michael Fay.)
Recently, there has been some national introspection about whether we are becoming less rugged as a people. It’s not something anyone can answer scientifically, but judging from the anecdotes, the answer is an unsurprising yes.
This op-ed from Red Sports speaks to that subject, and I must say it was discouraging to read that the numbers participating in track and field at the school level is on the decline. Not to mention schools giving up Sports Day. And defocusing on those sports in which they are unable to win awards
Have we lost sight of what’s important?
At least one school hasn’t. Seng Kang Primary has daily PE. And if you know anything about the primary school curriculum, then you’ll know how much vision and leadership it takes for a primary school to sustain that commitment.
Good on them. And as parents, let’s encourage our schools to do what’s right by our kids.
A website I go to regularly is Red Sports. Its mission is to tell the Singapore sports story, a narrative that is often neglected by the local dailies which are heavily skewed towards international sports.
Anyway, Red Sports put up an interview with the parents of Nicolette Teo, one of Singapore’s star swimmers. In kiasu, hypercompetitive Singapore, I thought their wisdom was a breath of fresh air.
This interview with up-and-coming Singapore politician Grace Fu focuses on her role as a parent. It struck me as containing many nuggets of parenting wisdom. I submit it for your consideration.
Well it’s happening again, this time with Porthos. His favourite game right now is Junior Scrabble, not least because he’s won every time we’ve played it. Beginner’s luck came to an end this afternoon, and Porthos was dealt a few bad hands. According to the rules, he was obliged to put down his letters even though it helps someone else to get points. But he kept saying, “I pass,” and refused to move.
The first time it happened I confess I took the easy way out and just exchanged letters with him to help him along. But experience is a good teacher and like Athos, I realised that Porthos was going to have to come to terms with losing sooner or later, and better he learns how to lose with me first.
So, as we say in Singapore, I “don’t give chance”. The next time Porthos got a bad hand and said “I pass”, I told him if he didn’t play by the rules, I would stop playing. And so I did. I went to another room and started doing something else. A few minutes later, Porthos came into the room and said, “OK it’s your turn.” I went back and saw that he had decided to go along with the rules after all.
When we finished the game, he had lost 11 to 8. He stomped out of the room and sat in the balcony for a while. I decided to withhold the parental sermon and let him be.
For those who are curious as to how Athos is holding up in Primary One, first let me apologise for not providing an update. I remain ambivalent about public education as we are experiencing it, and have not been able to find it within me to put in words why I feel the way I do.
So you’ll just have to make do with vignettes for now.
And as far as vignettes go, this one is a screamer. [Grandpa, Grandma, if you're reading this, please make sure you're comfortably seated....] (more…)
There’s a conference that takes place annually in the US called TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design). Bringing together some of the best minds and achievers, TED is a forum to share and spread transformational ideas. It’s a pretty exclusive conference but earlier this year, TED began to make its talks available on the Internet for free, and under a Creative Commons license (i.e. they can be freely shared and reposted).
I cannot recommend the site more highly. The handful of presentations I have watched were stellar. Since this is a parenting blog, I wanted in particular to highlight Sir Ken Robinson’s talk titled “Do Schools Kill Creativity”. Watch it. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.
Pilgrim Dad has just taught Athos and Porthos how to play one of the built-in games on his mobile phone and they are both hooked. It’s a game of speed, requiring the player to manoeuvre his token left and right in order to collect points.
I’ve been wondering what the big deal was, so last night I decided to play the game for myself. With Athos and Porthos watching, I fumbled my way through and really had a hard time trying to get the thing to do my bidding. Both of them got really excited shouting instructions at me. Eventually Porthos said,
“Mommy, I will play and you can watch how I do it. This game is not for fat fingers.”
My Dad sent me this story. I don’t know if it’s bona fide, but it doesn’t matter because the point is well worth making. In this day and age when virtual lives are overtaking real ones, our children (and us adults too!) need to learn not to let it all hang out. Do take some time to read this. (more…)
Cyberfamilias is a bi-weekly column in the New York Times. Here’s the latest in the series. Having just got on Facebook and begun to feel very, very old, the piece resonated with me. And my kids aren’t even teenagers yet.
Helloooo! I’ve been horribly remiss about updating this blog – in the past few weeks, I experienced a pile-up of work, the boys came down with an assortment of flus, and my grandmother passed away.
So let’s just say it’s been BUSY.
Still, I wanted to say something about my grandmother. We called her Mama, and last week Mama went to glory at the age of 94. She was born in Indonesia, but lived most of her life in Singapore. She had four children, seven grandchildren and 12 great-grandchildren. She spoke Teochew, a Chinese dialect which like other dialects in Singapore is no longer a language of everyday business. So as her grandchild, I always had difficulty communicating with her beyond basic functional conversation.
Yet I was never in doubt that she loved me. Hers was not a love that manifested in an endless stream of toys. Indeed, I don’t think I can remember a single toy she bought me. But there was a time in my life where she would babysit me, and she cooked wonderful meals of porridge and fish that are today still comfort foods for me. I remember her making 5 stones and pyjamas for me out of leftover fabric. They were never the most fashionable-looking, but I won many a 5 stone contest with the ones she made, and the pyjamas were oh so comfortable. And let me also say Mama had a wild side – she taught me how to roll paper cigarettes for her and play Si Sek (a gamblers game using long strips of coloured cards)
At her funeral, we put up a board of memories, and it seemed no-one else doubted her love for us either. How true it is that love goes well beyond the limitations of language!
So here’s to my Mama – for a life well lived and a legacy that lives on.
I found this by way of Raising Mustard Seeds. It was so funny I had to re-post the link here. Having many kids is a sure-fire recipe to developing a sense of humour. You’d go mad otherwise!
I last posted on the nature deficit disorder here. While catching up on blog-reading, I found this link to a Washington Post story via Whymommy over at Toddler Planet. The article expresses concerns over nature’s diminishing presence in the lives of our children, and it’s worth a read.
It’s sad but true that unless we make a special effort, the next generation of children will experience less of nature than us. My father talked of catching guppies in drains and fighting spiders as a child. Today, we have to go somewhere before we can be surrounded by nature, and ahead of that douse ourselves head-to-toe with insect repellent so we don’t get dengue. And here in Singapore, it’s hot, it’s sweaty, and it’s so much easier to go to a mall or just stay home watching TV and playing videogames.
But let’s not be lured by what’s easy, nor put off by what’s hard. Is being outdoors amid nature a good thing? If yes, for the sake of our children, let’s just do it.
Incidentally, Whymommy, whose blog I read regularly, has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. She has two boys aged 2.5 years and 5 months. Would you drop by her blog and give her some encouragement?
Athos celebrated his 6th birthday over the weekend with a party for a few friends. We played lots of crazy games (including a raucous round of Limbo where the parents got so into it that the kids lost interest and left….). Will post about some of the more engaging activities subsequently.
For now, I just wanted to share some thoughts on organising a kids’ birthday party. This is my 4th, with no doubt more to come, so here’s some of what I’ve learnt along the way: (more…)
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